Lost and Gone
by Annic
Summary: How could this have happened? When the unthinkable happens how does everyone react?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I couldn't not write this. It has been bugging me ever since I read stilljustme's stories about killing Jamie. I have no idea where this story is going to go or how long it is going to be. Enjoy. Please Read and Review.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, if they were I would putting more whump on our favorite brothers.**

After everything, after all of the attempts to rebuild the relationship they once had, it was all for naught. Now he found himself standing in the rain staring at a headstone. He keeps going over everything that happened. He kept asking himself if he was really standing there. That his brother was really gone, he refused to believe it. Before he knew it, he was crying. He hadn't let the emotion take over yet.

It meant that his brother was gone.

That Danny was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Here is the second chapter. I still haven't decided how to hurt Danny yet. I should have the next chapter of Letters up by later tonight or tomorrow and, if the chapter goes well, an update to Untitled this weekend. Thanks for the reviews. Please R&R.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, if there were there would be more whump, that way I could comfort our favorite brothers.**

As he looks at his mother's headstone, he found himself apologizing for not watching out for his older brothers, "My god, Mom, I am so sorry. Danny and Joe shouldn't be with you. Joe should be here, teasing me the way he always did. Danny should be here with Linda and the boys. Jack and Sean need their Dad; he should be here with the family. I wish I would have been there to watch out for him. Maybe…maybe if I had been there, he would be with us. He wouldn't be gone," with a gasp he struggles to continue. "Just when I was getting used to Joe being gone, we lost Danny. We are struggling to get back to normal since…since Danny was killed. If I had been there instead of…." Jamie can't bring himself to finish. He had put his friends first and was not there when his brother needed him.

"I know the rest of the family hates me. I wasn't there when he…I wasn't there for the family. I can't bring myself to visit Linda and the boys. Jack is so much Danny that it isn't even funny. Erin is the same way, I can't bring myself to visit her, she has lost two of her brothers…in the few times I have seen her since, she doesn't talk to me a gives me barely a glance. I would even take one of her death glares right now," Jamie laughs.

"Dad and Grandpa aren't handling it well at all. Dad was shaken when he lost you. When he lost Joe it was almost unbearable to watch him. Now that he has lost Danny, it is like he has fallen to pieces. As much as they butted heads…Grandpa is trying his best to be there for dad and all of us but I find him in the study sobbing. "

Jamie tries his best to continue but seems to have lost the words. As the sobs start to take over, he sinks to the ground in front of Danny.

"Danny, I am so sorry for everything I ever said to you. I would trade places with you in an instant. Jack and Sean need you. Sean asked me the other day when you were coming home. How am I supposed to answer that? Linda is lost without you. You guys were inseparable and now she can barely bring herself to get out of bed. She only does it for the boys. We will all needed you when you were here, even though we never said it. We still need you. I need my big brother," Jamie cries. "I would do anything to have you here instead of me. We all just need you back," he continues as he lets the sobs take over.

As the sobs get heavier, Jamie is completely oblivious to the person watching him from the road.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I know I said this would be posted earlier as well as a chapter of Letters, but the past few days have me running around like crazy. I am currently working on the new chapter of Letters. I tried to work on Untitled but I seem to have lost my muse for that story at the moment. Please R&R. **

**Thanks to my loyal readers and reviewers.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own them. Kinda wish I did :)**

"Jamie, please don't talk like that. I just lost my husband and my sons just lost their dad, we would not be able to stand losing you as well," Linda whispered. "Jack and Sean need their uncle, you are the closest thing to their Dad that they have left."

"I…I'm sorry Linda, I…I can't believe he's gone. I miss him," Jamie sobbed. " After Joe, I didn't think this could happen again, but…"

"We all miss him Jamie and we know this is going to be hard to move on from. We all need you. So please don't say that you wish it was you instead of him," Linda comforted her brother-in-law. "Why are you out here in the rain? You are going to get sick. You can't miss another dinner; the boys are already asking questions why you are never there."

"I…Why are you comforting me? Why aren't you blaming like everyone else in the family? Erin, Dad, Nicky, Grandpa, I can tell they all hate me and blame me for this, why don't you? It supposed to be me who responded to that call, not Danny," Jamie rambled. He didn't realize he was crying until he stopped yelling at his sister-in-law. "Oh…I'm so sorry I didn't mean to…"

"Jamie, stop! Just stop, nobody blames you. They don't hate you either. They are glad that we didn't lose both of you. While losing Danny is hard on all of us, I am glad that you are here that you are okay. Why don't you ride with me to your dad's for dinner? I dropped the boys off before I came here they'll be excited to see you." Linda pleaded. As Jamie nodded she was thankful she still had her younger brother in law. Even though her husband and Jamie hadn't been on the best of terms for a long time, they had become best friends. She hated the look on his face when he had walked into the hospital after the doctors had called it. She hated that she had to tell him that his brother was gone. In that moment she had lost her husband and two best friends when Jamie fell apart. As she watches Jamie walk back to her car she turns to her husband's headstone.

"My god Danny, I can't believe that it actually happened. I was so thankful you always came home to me and the boys. That you always knew how to comfort me when it became too hard. Jamie has fallen apart since you have been gone, he's not the same, he blames himself. He rarely comes to family dinners and nobody in the family has seen him in two weeks. We're worried, when we lost you, we also lost him," Linda tells her husband. "I promise I will look out for him. He has become like a brother to me, married to you for 17 years does that. I love you Danny Reagan, always and forever."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I know this story will have a couple more chapters. I want to explore what actually happened to Danny, as well as how Erin and Frank are dealing with it. However I do not know exactly how this story is going to end. Now that school is over for the summer, I have a little bit more time. Expect an update on Letters, possibly sometime this month on Untitled. Not happy with this chapter at all, so I am going to make some cookies to see if that helps my creative ideas again. Thanks to my loyal readers and reviewers. A big thanks to CBloom2, stilljustme and riowolf. I write because your stories inspire me to. Thank you.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own them, however I wish I do as I listen to NKOTB and Donnie singing...Damn.**

The ride to Frank's house was tense and silent. Jamie had no clue what to say to his sister-in-law. He knew he could never bring himself to call Linda his former sister in law. She had become like another sister to Jamie.

"Even though Danny is gone, you know you are always welcome at my place and I'm sure my dad has told you the same thing. You are just as much my sister as Erin is. I would do anything for you Linda, please know that," Jamie explained as the slowly pulled up to his father's house. As he glanced at Linda he saw the first real smile on her face since that night.

"Thank you Jamie, you guys have become my family, to watch you grow, I could never leave you guys behind. And you just like a little brother to me. You can't get rid of me that easily," Linda laughed as she hugged her brother in law. "Let's go inside, we miss you."

As they walked up the front door, they watched it fly open to see his niece and nephews run straight towards him. Jamie readied himself for the impact, he however knew that the impact was less one person. Hugging Jack and Sean and marveling at how much they resembled their dad. Both a perfect mix of Linda and Danny.

"I thought you left like Daddy did, I was worried about you," Sean tearfully admitted.

"If I have any power over it, I will try my best to make sure I make it out okay for all three of you. I promise you I will do everything I can," Jamie explained to his nephews. He now knew that even though he miss his brother, he had to do anything and everything to make sure that Jack and Sean had some piece of their father around.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I'll admit I have become very inspired lately. Of course the concert I am going to is coming up soon and a Blue Bloods marathon has helped me lure my must back for a little bit. I am working on a new chapter for Letters too, should have it posted by the end of this week. Thanks to my loyal readers and reviewers. Please R&R. :)**

**Disclaimer: Don't own them, if they were they would be my minions *insert evil laugh***

Erin had been walking around like a zombie for the past three weeks. Her oldest brother, her protector and best friend had been killed in the line of duty.

Danny was gone.

Her baby brother was falling apart and had disappeared for two weeks.

Her sister-in-law was lost. Linda had not only lost her husband, but she lost her best friend and the love of her life as well as the father of her children. She was a mess. What remained of her was just a shell of her normal self. But she feared Linda would never be normal.

Jack and Sean were still reeling. She knew that even though they were old enough to comprehend that their father was gone, they still refused to believe it. Her nephews were going to grow up without their father. That thought alone broke her heart.

Nicky, who was incredibly close to her uncle was inconsolable when she had told her what happened. It was because of Nicky that Erin knew she couldn't fall apart. Her daughter was her support system.

Her grandfather fell apart when the doctor had told them the news. He couldn't believe that his eldest grandson, a younger version of him, was gone. He had lost two of his grandsons. It wasn't supposed to happen this way.

However, Frank was the worst. Erin had seen what losing her mother and Joe had done to him. He always warned Danny to be careful, to make sure that he was coming to his wife and sons. If it wasn't for Erin and Jamie he would have allowed himself to let go.

Her family was falling apart, and it wasn't by any fault of their own. It was if there was a curse over their family.

The last words she had exchange with him she couldn't remember. They always fought at Sunday dinner, but always seemed to mend it before either of them had left their father's house.

However the last family dinner that they had, she had stormed out of the house and into the garden and refused to come back in until Danny had left. She had even remained silent when he came out to apologize. She can still replay every single word that he had said.

_"Erin? Come on sis, answer me." She could tell that his voice was breaking. He had pushed his sister's buttons until she couldn't take anymore. Now he was afraid that he had lost a very important part of his life. _

_"Listen, I honestly didn't mean anything I said in there. I can't stand the idea of you being hurt and to see you in a situation like that would kill me because it meant I failed at what I was supposed to do. Protect you and Jamie, I already failed with Joe, I can't lose you too. I am so sorry Erin," Danny finished tearfully._

Little did she know that those five words to her would be the last ones her older brother would ever say to her. She would give anything to have Danny back to fight with. She would give anything to tell Danny she loved him, to have him protect her, to make sure she was alright .

She grew up in a family of four siblings. Everyone asked her what it was like to grow up with three brothers, she always said she couldn't imagine any different. Now she was living that nightmare.

It was just her and Jamie


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: After this chapter I plan on having only one more chapter. As it stands right now I have WIPs. I would like to wrap them up soon. I still have many ideas for Letters so as it stands right now there is no end in sight for that one. I am going to try and update again this week but I don't know if I am going to be able to. I am going out of town in a week for a concert...a couple of you know who already...I may have more inspiration when I get back... :) **

**Please R&R**

**Thanks to my loyal reader, I really do appreciate hearing what you have to say. They keep me writing.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine...**

For the first time in three weeks his remaining family was complete. Ever since Danny had been killed Jamie had been in self-imposed exile. So when Linda arrived back at the house Frank was so relieved to see his youngest son in the car that he sank into the dining room chair, which his oldest son had once occupied and let the emotions go. He hadn't even heard the front door open.

"Dad?" He heard Jamie ask quietly.

"I'm so glad you are alright," Frank started and felt his breath hitch. "Don't ever do that to us again," he asked of his youngest. Even though he had lost his two oldest sons he could not begin to fathom what it would be like to lose Jamie as well. As he held his youngest son he felt Jamie begin to sob, this was the first time since Danny had been killed that he has seen Jamie show any kind of emotion.

When Frank had received the news that his oldest had been injured on a bust, he found himself praying that Danny was going to be okay. However all of that flew out the window when Baker had walked into his office, as if she had seen a ghost.

_"Baker, what is it?" He finally was able to ask when he had found his voice._

_"Frank," Baker started. He knew that is wasn't going to be good news for she rarely addressed him by his first name. "I just received intel, that a bust had to be called off after…" He watched her pause and gather herself. "Frank, the bust had to be called after the suspect attacked a detective. The detective was your son Danny."_

_He felt as if his heart had been ripped out of his chest. He couldn't believe that this could be happening again. When he glanced at Baker again he could tell that the bad news didn't end there._

_"What else is there Baker," he asked as he stood up from behind his desk. He felt Abigail's hand on his arm as if to prepare him for more news._

_"Frank, Danny is…he…Danny was pronounced at St. Luke's just a few minutes ago. I'm so sorry Frank."_

_He couldn't believe that he had just lost another son. Jamie and Erin had lost another brother. Linda had lost her husband and Jack and Sean had lost their father. He refused to believe it was true even when they had the funeral. _

No one had been back to work. It had been three weeks and much of the family still clung to each other. They were all still struggling with Danny being gone.

"Dad, I can't believe Danny is gone. I still need my annoying older brother. It doesn't seem real," Jamie whispered.

"I know, we all still need him. But promise me something. Promise me you will be careful out there, we can't lose you to Jamie. Promise me that," Frank asked quietly.

"I'll try my best," Jamie promised.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Here is the last chapter of Lost and Gone. This chapter was not going to end this way. If the inspiration strikes I will write an epilogue. Please R&R.** **Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

Five years later

No one in the Reagan family ever really got over the loss of Danny. He was such a driving force in his family. When Henry died two years later, they all knew that it was from the heartbreak of losing two of his grandsons. Before he had passed, he had told Linda and Frank that he was sorry to put the family through the pain of losing a loved one again. Even though they knew it was coming it was still hard on the family.

Even though that loss had hurt , they family had to move on. Erin had become the new D. New York when her boss had retired. It was something that she had been working towards her entire career.

Nicky, at the insistence of her mother, was accepted into Columbia for Criminal Justice. She had graduated first in her class with honors. Even though her mother did not like the idea of her only child, becoming a police officer she supported the choice she had made. Nicky had excelled at the academy and had been working the beat for the last four months. She was also engaged to be married to her college sweetheart Caleb Mason, a teacher at a private school in Newark. He had supported her when through the academy. And when he asked for her hand in marriage, he didn't just ask her father, but also Jamie and Frank's blessing as well for he knew how much they meant to Nicky. She had told her father that while she still wanted to do the traditional father-daughter dance, she wanted to have her Uncle Jamie and Aunt Linda walk her down the aisle. She had always planned on Jamie and Danny walking her down the aisle. Linda was the closest thing she had to her uncle Danny now.

Jamie, was now a detective working the same precient that Danny had worked at. Gormley had a few reserves having a Reagan under his command again but Jamie had proven to be a great detective. He and his partner were considered to be two of the best in the city. Jamie knew that if Danny was still with them, he would be competing for the most cases solved. He had also met the girl of his dreams, within a year of meeting Grace they were married and with a year had twins, Ainsley Elizabeth and Daniel Joseph. The family adored the new additions.

Linda had continued to be a part of the family; she was present at every family dinner and holiday. The Reagans were more her family than her own blood family. She felt at home with them. When she had started to think of the idea of dating again, she had asked for the opinions of Erin, Jamie, and Frank. After many reassurances, that she would always be a part of the family she had decided to start testing the waters again. It was evident that Danny was her soulmate and no one could replace him. She knew she would never love anyone as much as she loved Danny. Even though he had been gone for five years, she still considered herself married.

Jack and Sean had grown up to be great young men. Sean was now a sophomore in high school and had been chosen to be a goalkeeper for the varsity soccer team. He was excelling in his studies. Jack was in the last weeks of his senior year. He had been all-everything in soccer, hockey, and baseball. He had been given offers for all three sports for scholarships, but had chosen to go to Boston College on a full-ride for hockey. And would then after four years, attend the academy.

Lastly, Frank had retired from the force and enjoyed his grandchildren more than he could before. He still consulted on some cases but most of the time he appreciated retirement.

Each of them had visited Danny and the family many times. This time the entire clan, even the twins, had joined together to visit and talk.

"Dad, I wish you were still here. I will always wish that. You always told me you would be there to see me graduate, even though I know you cannot be there physically, I know you are always with me," Jack started. He wanted to get his emotions out before the rest of the adults arrived. "I miss you every day, but then again so does everyone else in the family. Jamie has done the best he can in being there for us and with the twins you would think he would forget about us. But he always finds time for Sean and I. Sometime I think that you are watching us from around the corner. Again I miss you Dad.

As he lay his hand against the headstone and began a silent prayer, he felt a hand land on his shoulder and heard a voice he thought he'd never hear again.

"I'm so sorry Jack."


	8. Epilogue

**Here is the epilogue you all asked for. This story is now complete. I am working on Reunion and Untitled right now and drafting notes for Letters as well. Enjoy. Please R&R.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

In reality, Danny knew what the dangers of the bust were. If everything went according to plan, he would have gone home to his family and had an extended vacation that had been promised to him.

However, everything seemed to go wrong from the beginning. When he had been jumped, OCCB had to come up with a story to keep him safe. They had to convince everyone that he was dead. His entire family believed he was gone. His father hadn't even been notified of the story, he had to know the lie as well. They had to keep him safe until the entire Los Locos Cartel was arrested. He thought that within a few months, he would be back with his family.

However, the cartel kept running the projects and neighborhood they had called home. For five years he had watched.

He watched Jackie come back to NYPD as if to avenge his death. He watched Baez ascend to the position of Deputy Commissioner. He knew that his father and Baez worked tirelessly to catch his 'killer.'

He had watched from afar at his grandfather's funeral and cried in silence with no one to comfort him. Danny watched his niece grow and graduate. He was at her academy graduation and had even bumped into Jamie. However, his brother had been too occupied with his screaming daughter to know who had just bumped into him.

He had watched his sister become District Attorney. Danny knew that this was she had been working towards.

He had watched his baby brother fall in love. He was thankful that Jamie had found someone that loved and supported him not matter what occupation he chose. He wished he could have been part of the wedding. When Jamie became a father, he wished more than anything he could have been there to watch the immediate change in his brother.

Lastly, he watched his family grow up. He had watched Jack go through high school and excel in sports and academics. He watched Sean grow into a teenager. He couldn't believe that his baby was now driving. He watched Linda still attend family functions and even try to date. He knew that she needed to move on but it still hurt.

When he received the phone call that the entire New York portion of the cartel had been arrested, he was beyond relieved. OCCB had informed him that all that they needed from him was an anonymous testimony. He could go home.

Danny had decided to drive to cemetery as if to say goodbye to this life he had lived for five years. He stopped short of the family plot when he saw Jack kneeling front of his. He didn't know whether to approach his son or stand back. As he listened to what Jack was saying and wishing that Danny was still around he found himself almost running over to his son. When he laid a hand on Jack's shoulder he felt, him jump, scared.

"I'm so sorry, Jack," he said almost a whisper.

"Dad?" Jack asked in disbelief. He almost couldn't believe who was talking to him. He was afraid to turn around for fear that it wasn't his dad. When his father was killed, he had never really gotten over the hurt. As he slowly turned around he looked straight into the familiar face of his father, a man he hadn't seen in five years, a man he thought was gone.

"Oh my god."

And with that he cried, for the last five years, for the future, that now he had with his father.


	9. Epilogue II Part I

**OK here is part one of the second part of the Epilogue. I was going to post this in one huge chapter but I really need to sleep. I hope to have the second part up tomorrow. **

**Disclaimer: Not mine. **

After a few minutes where no words were exchanged and the only sound that was heard was the soft gasp from father and son, Jack finally brought himself to peel away from his father. A person he hadn't seen in five years. He knows that it wasn't his father's choice, but he still held a little bit of resentment that his father was gone for five years.

"Does…Does anyone else know?" Jack finally brought himself to ask not sure he wanted to know the answer.

"No, no one knows, not even your grandfather. I only found out an hour ago, that I could come home. I came here to say goodbye to that life. To hopefully come home to whatever family I have left," Danny explained. He wasn't exactly begging he just wanted his son to know that he had wanted to come back.

"Wait a minute; grandpa didn't know that you were alive? Not even when he retired?" Jack asked in shock. He couldn't believe that no one in his family knew. "Everyone is on their way here …" he couldn't finish.

"Dad couldn't know. Everyone had to think I was gone, that was until the arrested the Los Locos cartel. Now that they are going to trial, I can come home," Danny began. "I just don't know what there is for me to come to though."

"Uncle Jamie helped take down that cartel, he has no idea they were linked to you. All he knew was that they were responsible for your…for killing you," Jack tried to explain. "Trust me Dad, we all want you home, especially mom," he finished as he hugged his father again. It was then that he noticed the cars starting to arrive.

"Dad," Jack knew he was going to smile each time he said that now, "um, everyone is here. I'll let them fill you in on everything." Sensing that his dad's nervousness, he vowed one thing, "I'll stay right here, they won't be angry, they've missed you."

**BB**

After comforting his teenage son, he felt nerves take over. Danny was nervous to see his family again. He had never in his life been so nervous to see his family. He had missed so much, he just wished he wouldn't miss anymore milestones.

**BB**

Nicky always hated going to the cemetery. It was where she said goodbye to some of the most important people in her life. First it was her grandmother, whom she remembers a little bit. Everyone in her family reminded her how much her and her mother reminded them of her grandmother. Next was her Uncle Joe. She was only 13 when he was killed and it still hurt her.

However she was still young. But the last two were the ones that hurt the most. Her Uncle Danny and Great-Grandfather Henry, even thinking of them still hurt. She was thankful she had Caleb to get her through Henry's death; however Danny's still haunted her. She was sure that besides her Aunt Linda, she was the one that visited him the most. Nicky had adored Danny and she had made it no secret. She had confided in Caleb that after her parents had divorced she never entertained the idea of her dad walking down the aisle; it was Danny and Jamie that would give her away. It had been his idea to include Linda, even though Danny was gone, she had been a major part of her life and would always be her aunt.

As they arrived to the cemetery for their, they really didn't have a name for what they did. They had decided to meet up a week before. It was never planned more than a few days ahead of time. It was something that they did as a family.

"Nick, hey sweetie we are here," Caleb quietly said as he laid a hand on his fiancé's hand. As he glanced out the window he saw that Jack was already here. They both knew that he was going to meet them there. "Hey Nicky, who is Jack talking to?" The only response he got in return was a gasp.

"Oh my god, there is no way. No. No it can't be. Caleb….that's…that's my uncle Danny," She sobbed. And with that she ran out of the car and down to her cousin and uncle that she thought was gone. She stopped short of her beloved uncle, unsure of what she should do.

"Hi Nicky," Danny tearfully greeted. If each reunion was this hard…as he looked at his oldest niece he was in awe at how much she looked like her mother. Nicky had grown into a beautiful woman. His small greeting was all it took for Nicky to launch herself at Danny. "Hey it's okay. I'm here, I'm back now. "

"I…I can't believe…Are you back for…good?" Nicky asked quietly as she was embraced by her uncle.

"Yes I am."

After what seemed like hours when in reality it was minutes she was finally able to bring herself to step out of her uncle's arms, "Uncle Danny, there is someone I want you to meet, this is my fiancé Caleb. Caleb, this is Danny."

**BB**

For Erin the past five years had been a rollercoaster of ups and downs. First she lost the one person in her life that she had considered her best friend, her oldest brother Danny. Even though they fought like enemies, they would do anything for each other. A few months after that she had been promoted to District Attorney of New York City, it was something she had worked for her entire life. She had told her baby brother Jamie that it was her dream that Danny was still there to watch her reach her ultimate goal. In the next year, she had watched Jamie get married and become a father and her daughter graduate college and join the police academy. Shortly after she lost another important person in her life in her grandfather Henry, and while it broke her heart she knew that he had lived a full life and was in a better place.

Everything however was starting to look up for her. Nicky was engaged to be married. She couldn't help but love the man that was about to become her son-in-law. He loved and adored her daughter and knew that Caleb would do anything for Nicky.

As she made her way to the cemetery, she found herself dreading meeting the rest of the family there. This little meeting was something that they had done on a regular basis after Danny had been killed. It was their way of filling him in on what was happening and for each of them to seek solace in each other. She found parking behind Caleb's car and instructed herself to breathe. She noticed that neither her daughter nor Caleb were in the car ahead of her. The two always waited for her to get there before they walked to the headstone. Strength in numbers she always thought.

Getting out of her car she glanced around looking for her daughter worried that something might have happened. However what she saw shocked her more than anything: Her daughter wrapped in an embrace with someone she thought she would never see again, Danny.

Walking closer to the four people standing in a close circle, she finally found her voice, "Danny?"

"Hey sis," he said as he tearfully smiled at her. A smile she thought she would never see again. Erin didn't realize that she had walked further until she felt Danny's arms wrap protectively around her. "Do you realize how proud I am of you? I've missed you Erin," he whispered in her ear where only she could hear the emotion in his voice.

"My god, Danny, I've missed you too." And with that she broke down in her brother's arms.


	10. Epilogue II Part II

**A/N: I hit a writer's block on this story. I could not seem to write a version of Linda and Frank that I liked and I am still struggling to write that chapter. This story may go two more parts, one at the very least. I always seem to be able to write Jamie's character easily. I felt you guys deserved a chapter. Here it is enjoy. Please don't forget to R&R.**

**Thanks to CBloom2, stilljustme, silvermoongirl10, riowolf and all the others who continue to read my stories. Your kind reviews keep me going. **

**One last piece, after seeing the picture for the first family dinner of season 4, I am definitely excited about the new season.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine...**

"Grace, are you ready? We are going to be late again," Jaime yelled up the stairs to his wife. No matter what they did, the four of them always seemed to be late to family gatherings. Of course getting three year old twins ready to go anywhere was a chore. However he wouldn't change his life for anything. His wife, son and daughter meant the world to him. He loved his job, a detective in the NYPD based out of the 8th precinct. He couldn't be happier with his life right now.

Except for the hole that existed in his family, his two older brothers had been taken from them too soon. Even though Joe had been the second to youngest child in the family he always knew how to make people laugh. Jamie and Joe had become more than brothers, they had become best friends. When Danny had called him to tell him Joe had been killed he fell apart. The only reason he had been able to survive that was the support that he had from Erin and Danny. Each of them telling him just how important he was to each of them. Not letting either one fall apart.

However all of that change five years ago, a day he will never forget. Jamie had been given the opportunity to sit in on a bust with a major cartel in New York City. He knew that it could be a dangerous job. His brother Danny had been given the assignment. Normally he would have jumped at the chance to work with his brother; however, he passed up this assignment so that he could see some old friends from law school. The night had been going fine until he received a phone call from his sister telling him he needed to get down to St. Vincent's Hospital right away. He could tell in her voice something was wrong. As soon as he rounded the corner to the ER, his whole world seemed to stop. He saw the tear-stained faces of his sister and sister-in-law, he saw his father's shoulders shaking, and the lost look on his grandfather's face. He knew his brother was gone, he didn't even have to ask, but he still did.

"Erin…" He remembers asking. He and Danny had built their relationship from just brothers to almost best friends. Danny always told him, that even though he never wanted to and couldn't replace Joe, he wanted a better relationship with his kid brother. Jamie started to think of all of their fights.

"Jamie…Danny…he's gone," Jamie remembers Erin telling him. He remembers his sister and him on the floor of the ER waiting room crying into each other's arms.

The rest of that week had been a blur. He remembers the service and how much it hurt to see his oldest brother in the ground next to Joe and their mother. After that he refused to see his family, he went into a self-imposed exile for he felt that they had blamed him. To this day he thanks Linda for saving him from the almost inevitable dark path the almost laid ahead. Pleading with him to come back to the family she had come to call her own, the family that was struggling to keep from falling apart.

His family kept him going, his job continued to mean something. His nephews became two of the most important people in this life. Even after he met Grace.

His wife had saved his life. When they met he was a shell of himself, he had lost two of his best friends in just over five years. Grace had helped him get back to who was. Their wedding day had been perfect; a small, intimate ceremony that was only missing one thing: Joe and Danny. When they found out that they were pregnant it had been Grace's idea to honor his brothers by naming a son after them. His son and daughter meant the world to him. Ainsley was a handful, just like Grace had been when she was younger, from what he had heard. Daniel, however was just like his uncle, it was like he was a mini version of Danny. He wouldn't have it any other way. Shortly after the twins were born, Jamie was promoted to Detective, his home precient, the same one Danny worked out of, under the same sergeant. He was able to help out away the gang that had killed his brother.

"Grace! Sweetie, we need to get going, we are going to be the last ones there," Jamie yelled up the stairs once more.

"Dada, I ready!" his son screeched as he flew down them. Jamie reached out to catch him before he fell and hurt himself. "Why you sad?" Daniel asked his father.

Jamie was amazed that his son could read him so well. His dad said that Danny had been able to do the same from an early age. He was starting to think that Daniel really was a mini Danny.

"I am just missing your Uncle Danny," Jamie began before he was interrupted.

"I name after him," His son asked.

"Yes, one of the ones you were named after. He was one of my best friends," Jamie finished.

"And he would have loved to meet both you and your sister and I," Grace finished as she walked down the stairs with Ainsley resting her head on her mother's shoulder. "Your father loved him very much, "Grace smiled as she looked at her husband. These days were always rough on Jamie; it was as if he was saying goodbye to his oldest brother all over again.

"You okay?" She asked softly.

"Yeah, I just…it's hard for me to do this. The last time we ever talked, I told him I hated him…" Jamie confessed.

"He knew you still loved him. Come on, we need to get going, everyone else probably already there waiting on us," Grace explained.

**BB**

As they pulled up to the cemetery, they saw that Jack, Nicky and Erin were already there. However Jamie didn't see his father's or Linda's cars. He smiled as he heard his son and daughter babbling in the backseat, he smiled at the family he had created with Grace.

"Let's go."

As they walked to the family plot, he noticed the grip on his wife's hand tightened. He noticed that there wasn't much conversation. However he was pulled out of his reverie, when he saw his son let go of Grace's hand and start running towards the small crowd.

"Awnt Ewrin! Ni! Cayub! Yak!" Daniel screamed as he continued to run.

However before he could say anything, his son was swept up into the arms of his cousin Nicky.

"Hey Daniel, how is my favorite baby cousin," Jamie could hear Nicky ask quietly. He could have sworn he heard break in his niece's voice. Jamie just wanted to apologize for his son's interruption.

"Hi, I Daniel. Who you?" his son asked the unknown visitor. Jamie then heard a voice he never thought he'd heard again.

"Hi Daniel, I'm…" Jamie heard his brother begin before he interrupted him.

"Danny?" Jamie whispered, just loud enough for the small group to hear.

"Yeah, kid, it's me. Cute kid you have here, his name is Daniel? Or am I hearing things?" Danny asked trying to break the ice between him and his brother.

"Um…Thanks. He's named for you and Joe. It was one way I could honor you," Jamie began, surprised he could put together a complete sentence. "And this is my wife Grace, and my daughter Ainsley Elizabeth."

"Nice to meet you, Danny," Grace replied. Jamie could tell that she was speechless. As was he.

"My God Danny is it…" Jamie tearfully asked afraid to know the real answer. Maybe this was all just a dream. Maybe he had fallen asleep in the car. Danny was dead and had been for five years. Yet there he was standing in front of him. He didn't believe even though he wanted to. "I never hated you Danny. Please know that."

"I'm here, I'm really here kid. I know I never hated you either," Danny replied.

He noticed the tears running down his brother's face and then noticed the ones falling down his own cheeks. There in that cemetery, after five years of heartache, he embraced a brother he thought was dead. A brother he now had another chance with.


	11. Epilogue Part III

**A/N: One more chapter after this one and this story is done. I am gone for the weekend but after I get back on Monday I plan to have a large amount of updates. Please R&R.**

**Thanks to stilljustme, CBloom2, riowolf, racefh853629, accounting professional, and mi guard for continuing to push me to update. This chapter is for you guys.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

Every time he looked at Jamie and Erin, he thought of the two sons that he had already lost and vowed to everything in his power to make sure he didn't lose his two remaining children. He couldn't handle that ache that two dead children had implanted in his heart, if he lost either Jamie or Erin he is sure he would not be able to bounce back from that.

The last time he stood in front of Danny and Joe's headstones was after his father's funeral. The names on the headstone were so final. The fact that he would never get to see his sons grow old, that Danny would never get to enjoy his sons and watch them grow. They had been robbed of their lives and that hurt.

Frank will always remember when Danny was placed in his arms for the first time. He couldn't believe that his son, his, lay in his arms. He couldn't have been prouder or happier. Up to the day that Danny and Joe died he loved them more than anything. Now he was left with two children. His daughter and his baby boy.

Today he was going to his son's grave for the time in two years. He knew that the rest of his family had visited on a regular basis. He refused to go because it was so final. However after the intel he was handed today he felt he had to go. As if to say goodbye to something. How was he going to tell his family about the information that he received today about Danny.

As he pulls his car into the parking lot next to the family plot he sees that much of his family is already there. The only car he notices is missing is his daughter-in-law's. He just hopes that the news wasn't some misinformation from his DCPI, only to have his heart broken again.

As he walked to the crowd he could hear his three year old grandson Daniel talking someone's ear off. Frank always thought that when Jamie had kids that they would end up being just like him however, Ainsley is just like her mother and has the same personality as his late wife, shy and reserved until she gets to know you then a ball of energy. Daniel, however is nothing like his father, he has the same personality as his uncle. It is as if, the name passed the personality down. He told Jamie that Daniel was nothing like him but more like Danny. Jamie said he wouldn't have it any other way.

The closer he got to his family the more off in his own world Frank realized he was. It wasn't until he heard Caleb ask him if he was okay that he snapped out of his trance.

"Yeah, Caleb thanks, I am fine, just thinking…" Frank answered. "Listen, guys I have something…" It was then that he realized who was holding Daniel. There standing in front of him was his oldest son, alive and smiling. He couldn't stop the smile that graced his face and the tears the started to fall down his face.

"So, it's true? It's really you?" Frank asked. Ready to actually believe that Danny was alive. He knew that the tears were falling in earnest now. Leave it to Daniel to break the moment.

"Gampa, are you okay? Why are you crying?" The three year old asked in concern, he had never seen his grandpa cry. He was always strong.

"Yeah, Daniel, I am fine. I am just glad to see your Uncle Danny," he explained to his three year old grandson.

"You missed him huh? Just like daddy missed him?" Daniel tried his best to understand.

"Yeah, I missed him." Frank replied as Danny passed his nephew to Jack. He saw tears in his son's eyes.

"Hi Dad," Danny tearfully greeted.

"I am so glad you are alright. We've missed you," Frank whispered as he embraced his son. He could feel Danny tremble sobs and held on a little tighter. His family was whole again. He thank his loved ones above he was able to hold onto his oldest again.


	12. Epilogue Part IV

**A/N: Here is a filler chapter. I am still struggling to write Linda's POV. I would like to have it written by Wednesday but I am not sure that will happen. Please R&R.**

**Thanks to my loyal readers!**

**Disclaimer: Not Mine.**

**BB**

"Mom! If I had known I had to wait for you I would have gone with Jack," Sean yelled after his mother. For the last five years they made an annual trip to the cemetery. It wasn't to visit a grandparent. It was to visit his father.

He remembers his father as a strong, caring, man who would do anything for his family. He remembers his father putting him to bed when he was younger. He remembers waking up in the hospital when he had his bike accident to realize that his father had slept next to him, waiting for him to wake. He never truly was able to say goodbye to man that helped him become the young man he was today.

While he hasn't had his father around for the past five years, he still talks about his father as if he was still alive. As if he was still a huge part of his life. And even though his dad had been gone for five years, his presence was still very strong. His mother made sure that he and Jack were still around his father's family. That they knew their background, Jack wanted to follow the Reagan legacy and become a cop. Sean wasn't quite sure what he wanted to do yet. And his family was okay with that. However, once Jack left, it was going to be just him and his mom at their house, and he wasn't sure that he could ever think of that as normal.

"Mom! Are we leaving or not? I will walk there or call Jack to come get me if I have to," Sean yelled again.

"I'm coming, I was just reading a text from you grandfather," His mother replied. If they only truly knew what that text meant.

**BB**

The conversation was kept light on the way to cemetery. They never talked about the hard things when they were going to talk to Danny.

"That's odd everyone is already here," Linda said quietly.

"Yeah, we are usually the first ones. But you had to take forever to get here," Sean teased his mom. "Jamie and Grace and twins even beat us. Geez mom, you really did take forever."

"Thanks son, I love you too. Why don't you go meet them, wherever they maybe?" Linda joked.

As Sean made his way down to the family, he noticed that they were all gathered around one thing. Usually if they were there to talk and visit the family members, they unconsciously formed a line as if to pass down the line. He could hear his cousin Daniel talking someone's ear off and he smiled at the thought that it wasn't him. It wasn't Daniel who spotted him first but Ainsley, whom seemed to be shy at the moment.

"Sean! Hi Sean. I iss you," Ainsley babbled as she made her way over to her cousin.

"Hey Ainsley, I've missed you too. What…" Sean asked as he picked up his cousin. However he stopped in his tracks as he saw who was standing next to Jamie. "D…Dad?"

"Sean? Oh my…Hi," was all his father could manage to piece together. Neither Danny nor Sean knew how to react.

"Is this…is this real? I mean you have been gone for five years. I wasn't able to say goodbye to you. I needed you. And….," Sean angrily explained. He never expected to be mad at his father if he ever showed up again, but now he couldn't seem to keep his emotions in check. Before he knew it, his dad had him a strong embrace and was apologizing for everything he missed.

"I'm so sorry. I couldn't tell anyone. Not even your grandfather or your mom. I wish I could have been there, I'm sorry," Danny whispered to his youngest son. He just wished he could have taken back everything he missed.

"Dad, are you back…are you back for good? I mean you don't have to leave again do you?" Sean asked afraid.

"No, I don't have to leave, I am back for good," Danny comforted. He smiled as he took in the family that he had missed the past five years. The tears staying at bay until he heard a familiar voice murmur his name.

"Danny?"


	13. Epilogue Part V

**A/N: Here is the last chapter of Lost and Gone. I honestly didn't think that the first small paragraph would grow into this. I am still working on Reunion, Untitled, and Letters. I also have a few more ideas up my sleeve. I am just taking my time. Please R&R.**

**A big thank you to all of you who read this story.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

These types of days were always hard. They were reminders of what she had lost. She still had her beautiful, smart sons, who had grown in to amazing young men. She couldn't have been prouder of them. It is days like these that she wishes that she still had Danny around to see their sons grow.

She still can't believe that her husband, her Danny, had been gone for five years. Linda still catches herself about to ask Danny even five years later. She is beyond grateful that Danny's family continued to be her family. When she thought of dating again, she asked his family for permission. It never seemed right however to move on. She was always going to always love Danny, for he was her soulmate and still loved him to this day.

Linda was snapped out of her reverie by the buzzing of her phone. Ever since Danny was killed Frank and she communicated more than when he was alive. But then again his entire family had kept good contact with Linda. So it didn't surprise her to see that Frank had texted her, however it was the subject of the text that surprised her.

'_Just got news…Danny may be alive."_

Short, sweet and shook her to the core. Linda had to re-read it about twenty times. She didn't want to get her hopes up, in the case that it was false. She heard Sean yelling at her, that they were going to be late. As she looked at the clock she realized that they already were late.

"I'm coming, was just reading a text from your grandfather," Linda explained trying to hide the shock she was feeling. The news that had her reeling.

**BB**

On the way to the cemetery, Linda tried her best to keep herself calm and hide what she knew from her son. She usually never kept anything from her two boys; there were very few secrets between the three. She vaguely remembers telling Sean to go ahead and make his way down to the family. She re-reads the text, over and over again. What was she supposed to make of it? If it was true how would she react?

Taking a deep breath, she slowly climbed out of the car, noticing that they were the last ones there. She made note to talk to Frank as soon as they are done. She is trying her best to stay calm and collected. She heard her three year old niece and nephew babbling away. She was so grateful that those children came along when they did. Ainsley, Grace and Daniel had helped the family heals in more ways than one.

As she got closer she saw her oldest son holding Daniel and smiled at the little boy, he was starting to become a mini Danny, a mini version of his namesake. However she noticed the tear tracks on his face, she started to ask what was wrong when she saw who was holding her youngest.

It was true, Danny, her Danny was alive.

"Danny?" She asked in surprise. As he looked at her, she could tell that the love and adoration that they had always held for each other was still there.

"Linda? My god," Danny couldn't believe it. She was still here. And she was still the most beautiful women he had ever seen. Over the five years that he was gone, he still loved Linda with all of his heart.

"Its…its… are you really here?" She asked as if to make sure this wasn't a dream. She was greeted with a nod, knowing that was all Danny could answer with. She noticed the tears that were threatening to fall and inched closer to her husband. Was he still her husband?

"Five years, five years Danny. You've been gone for five years, I barely survived that. And now, now you're back. Do you just expect me to take you back and…." She found herself yelling at him in anger and shock. She always thought when he came home that she would be excited and ready to make a life with him again.

"I know and I am so sorry for that. I want you to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted for you. Even if you hadn't agreed to marry me, I just wanted you to be happy. If you," Danny began but choked up at the thought of not being with Linda anymore. "If you don't want me to come home, I completely understand that. Five years is a long time. I want you to know that I will always love you," he finished in a whisper. He could hear the soft sobs coming from his family and he himself was trying to stay composed. However all he saw was his beloved Linda, trying to hold it together.

"Danny, it has always been you. And it will always be you," Linda began, "Yes five years is a long time, but I want you home. I need you to come home. "

All she could do was weep into her husband's arms. After five years, Danny was home and they could all breathe and put the pieces back together.


End file.
